Millennial Males. Enough is Enough, Dress like you Mean it! (Opinionated)

Millennials have a pretty harsh stereotype. We’re lazy. We hate jobs. We want everything to be ree, and we’re offended by everything. Who are we to say one is wrong if that’s their opinion. One stereotype that we should feel obligated to fix is our attire. The nineties are over. We cling to this idea that flannels, ripped jeans, and sandals are okay to wear anywhere. Unlike people by the beach, this look screams “MILLENNIAL!!!”… Once upon a time, male culture valued looking clean and sharp. The reason being; more people had harder jobs, and were taking jobs that were dirty and demanding, like the kind you might see on @Mike Rowes show, @Dirty Jobs. Our problem? Far to many of us felt obligated to attend college and created enough stress, as well as debt in our lives, that the last thing any of us can worry about is how we look.

With that being said, if someone gets a degree they cannot use, how can you expect them to show up to work in acceptable attire? The guy is working a job he doesn’t want! What happened to sport coats? Shoes use to be so shiny you could see a reflection on them. Today its vans with a small rip in them, skinny jeans, and a shirt that says “this would make me look cool to my older cousins at Christmas dinner.” I know its hard living in a world where everybody wants men to be boys, but dammit have some pride. For far to long now we millennials have fulfilled our stereotypes, but we cannot let this happen when we have people like @A$APROCKY and @ConorMcGregor setting damn good examples of how we should dress. Here are five reasons why you should wear more loafers, classy Jordans, sport coats, and reasonable pants… AKA not Skinny Jeans 24/7.

1. You can get a suit dirty

If someone is wearing a sport coat and they have a stain on their pants, it clearly isn’t as bad as already looking like you deserve stains on your clothes. Now a sport jacket is expensive unless you’re smart and just go to a thrift store. However that coat automatically says, “Hey this guy cares about what ever he is doing, and his Jackets so nice I cant even look at the stain”. You look better, more confident, and overall just get rid of an obnoxious stereotype.

2. People take you seriously

For an odd reason, the nicer one dresses, the more people assume you mean business. Our culture has built this idea that at important events, or meetings, the better you dress, the better you are judged. Why? Who knows just some weird part of our culture, however as Millennials we fail to take advantage of this. Rather than accepting this, we choose to fight a time honored tradition that says you have your act together.

3. You don’t look homeless

There is a growing trend with our generation. Buy three thousand dollars worth of clothing only to appear as homeless as you possibly can. Designer jeans, and shirts come with holes in them, and are sold at a higher price. What have we come too!? @Kanye West is literally selling material shredded to pieces like he was attacked by a Wolverine! How can anyone expect a promotion, or that internship you really want if you’re wardrobe suggests you just left the great depression!?

4. Go out with Jordans, and thou shall not judge

Literally, if you cannot bring yourself to own a pair of jeans that aren’t ripped that cost 2 million dollars, at the least get yourself a pair of nice Jordans. If it weren’t for Basketball, a large percentage of us would have severe arthritis in our feet when we get older. Jordan created the most comfy shoe to walk, ball, and BALL in. You can be broke as a joke, but if you have those @Jordans 4, people assume you got some money!

5. If you aren’t wearing Jordans, you better have loafers

The wonder of loafers. They barely require an effort to tie your shoes. Some don’t even have laces. They look like you spend the end of every day on a leather couch with your feet up and a cigar in your mouth. In fact, we at Grime Inc have determined that you could literally go out in a bathrobe, a stained white tee-shirt, and boxer briefs; and as long as you have loafers, you will earn the respect of whom ever you are talking too. Its the ultimate dad look, and also can easily be substituted by Jordans. So next time you want a Taylor Ham, Egg, & Cheese, or A Pork Roll, what ever you Jersian’s wanna call it, where loafers and no one will notice a flaw on you.

If this all seems very expensive you’re wrong. Sure the five points we made were a bit sarcastic, but they hold a vast amount of truth. All of these items can be purchased at any thrift store, or salvation army store. You can get designer clothes for as low as 5$ at some places. Who cares if its from the 1970’s if its still Brooks Brothers. We call that vintage. If you choose to follow our directions and someone calls you out for “not keeping up with fashion trends” you, yes you the reader, look at them with the most disgusting look on your face, and in the most snarky hipster voice possible say, “as a man who appreciates the art of fashion, who am I to ignore the great clothes of the past that helped these designers make the clothes they are wearing today, how dare you not respect vintage, but more importantly my appreciation for good clothes!”

In all honesty where what ever you want. But for the love of god if you are going out, going to work, going on a job interview, look presentable.

 

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